Silver Lining
by insaneantics21
Summary: Rachel's life shatters around her. Quinn is there to pick up the pieces whether Rachel wants her to or not. T for drama and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I just play with them.**

**Author's Note: **In some of my previous 'Glee' stories I mentioned the glee_kink_meme and the glee_fluff_meme over on LiveJournal. Well another one was created that I am now addicted to called the glee_angst_meme. And I read a prompt on there and I thought "No, I can't do this. It's just too depressing." But it wouldn't leave my head. So I decided to write it. It's filled with angst and depression. So if you're easily upset or triggered I would suggest not continuing.

Prompt: Rachel is really sick, maybe cancer. Quinn somehow finds out and wants to be around for Rachel. Rachel is pretty much angry with the world and the last person she wants around through this is Quinn. Things start to change, they start spending time together and develop a friendship...then turns out to be more.

I think part of the reason it kept poking my brain is because it reminds me of _A Walk to Remember_ which is one of my favorite books/movies. Also, I've tried to make this as medically accurate as possible.

**

* * *

-Chapter 1-**

It was just stress. It was the beginning of her senior year and she had a lot to focus on. Sectionals would be there before she knew it and she was researching college applications. She hadn't been sleeping well because she was sore. The soreness was from the increasingly complicated choreography that Mr. Schuester was throwing at them. They were flipping and jumping and lifting. It was just taking a toll on her muscles and that was it. It also explained the sudden weight loss, she was working really hard. She probably just needed to increase her calorie intake. Except that she wasn't that hungry.

Then…then she woke up with a massive bruise running down her ribcage and she had no idea how it got there. Every day there were more of them. Then she was in the middle of spinning around, Finn's arm on her waist, and she couldn't breathe. It was a simple move, she didn't understand why it made her so tired. Then Rachel Berry collapsed.

When she woke up she was in a bed that wasn't her own. It was inclined a little bit and there were beeping noises and her arm hurt. She looked around to see her Dad in a recliner and her Daddy staring out the window. She looked down to see a plastic tube sticking out of her arm, there was air shooting up her nose, and there were wires sticking out of the stiff white gown. She listened to the steady rhythm of the beeping heart monitor.

"Dad? Daddy?" Rachel asked softly.

Her Daddy looked up from the window and was at her bedside in less than a second. He smiled and patted the top of her head.

"Hey baby girl," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Rachel, why didn't you tell us you were feeling well?" her Dad asked.

"It's just stress. I could probably use a day off, that's all. Mr. Schuester keeps thinking we can do better than Vocal Adrenaline at regionals with choreography, I keep telling him he's crazy. As soon as I'm feeling better I'll tell him to lay off. We shouldn't be worried about them right now anyways, sectionals is the immediate goal."

Her dads looked at each other and her Daddy picked up her hand and kissed it.

"Honey," her Daddy said. There were tears in his eyes. "We have to tell you something."

* * *

I know, it's a short beginning. I apologize. The others are much longer though, I promise!


	2. Chapter 2

**-Chapter 2-**

Acute lymphoblastic leukemia. The bone marrow tests confirmed what the blood tests had speculated. She'd heard of it on medical shows and read inspirational articles about people who had it but it wasn't supposed to happen to her. She wasn't supposed to have something like this. She was Rachel Berry, strong, independent, resilient. She was supposed to be headed to Julliard or NYU the next fall to major in theater then move on to Broadway. Now her life would rely on poisonous drugs and eventual bone marrow transplants. And the words "twenty to forty percent survival rate" haunted her.

When she was released from the hospital her dads were given the name of a doctor, an oncologist. Dr. Ali was her name. Rachel's first appointment she had blood drawn and things were tested and they scheduled an appointment to have a chest port put in. Exactly three weeks to the day after she collapsed she was sitting in a room with five other people and the nurse was attaching tubes from the bags of medicine to the tubes sticking out of her chest and the chemotherapy started coursing through her veins. It would happen six hours a day, three times a week.

She quit glee and opted to start home schooling. She wouldn't be able to keep up with the demands and she was going to lose her hair and lose weight and look absolutely hideous and she was convinced that no one wanted to see that. She was determined though. She was determined that she was going to graduate high school and go on to college and Broadway. Mr. Schuester came after glee club practice to tutor her on days she didn't spend in the doctor's office. He told her about glee club and how everyone missed her. The optimism lasted thirteen days. When a handful of her beautiful brunette locks came out in her hairbrush one morning, that was it.

Her Daddy cleared out his study on the ground floor of the house and they converted it into a bedroom so she wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs anymore. She tried to do homework but most of the time she was too tired. Her hair was gone. She could feel her ribs. She became increasingly agitated with everyone and everything and finally just gave up. She hated the world. She hated God. She hated her doctors. She hated school. She hated everything.

"Rachel? There's someone here to see you," her Daddy said. It had been three weeks. Nine treatments. Sixteen nosebleeds. A countless number of uses of pink buckets.

"Tell Mr. Schue I'm not in the mood today."

"Rachel?" Quinn's voice came from the doorway.

Rachel pulled the blankets up over her head. "Go away, Quinn."

The bed sank and Quinn tugged at the blankets. "Rachel, please."

"I didn't ask you to come here."

"I didn't ask your permission to come."

"You're going to make me sick. You're infested with germs from school."

"I kept a sealed plastic bag of spare, clean clothes in my car. I showered and changed in your bathroom. Now come on. Let's talk."

Rachel only held the blankets tighter over her head but her weak muscles lost the battle and Quinn pulled them away. She kept her back turned away from Quinn. The slender fingers that touched her shoulder were soft and warm.

"Leave. Just leave, Quinn. I don't need or want you here."

"I want to be here. Please look at me, Rachel."

"Listen, I know that we've been forced to become acquaintances and possibly even friendly because of the passed few years but you don't have to pretend anymore, okay? I know you're only here to gawk at me."

"Rachel that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I _am_ your friend and Mr. Schue said you've been pretty down."

"Why…"

"He only told me. And before you ask, he didn't tell me to come here. I'm here because I want to be here."

Rachel finally rolled over. She looked up at Quinn and the blonde smiled.

"Just go. Please, Quinn. Just…just go."

Quinn sighed. "Fine. But I'm coming back tomorrow and every day after that."

Rachel scoffed. Quinn left.

Rachel sat in the chemo room with her pink bucket and her iPod. Her Dad sat with her and read his book. Right at four fifteen she looked up to see Quinn cautiously walking across the floor wearing a surgical mask, pink scrubs, and shoe covers. Rachel pulled the buds out of her ears.

"Quinn, I told you…"

"No, I told _you_. I'm going to be here every day whether you like it or not."

"I'm going to go get some fresh air," Rachel's dad said. "Have a seat, Quinn."

Rachel growled. Quinn sat down and slid her hand over Rachel's.

"You should go. Trust me, in about four minutes you're not going to want to be here." Rachel picked up the pink bucket and shook it a little.

"I can handle it. Santana's puked on me dozens of times when I've had to pick her up from parties. How's your blood count?"

Rachel shrugged. "Haven't heard anything yet. Last time they were normal. Normal for someone having poison pumped through their veins, that is."

"I've been doing some research and I…"

"Save it, Quinn. I've read all the articles and looked at all of the websites. Do you honestly think I would go into this completely unprepared?"

Quinn chuckled. "Of course not, you're Rachel Berry. I should've known you would have already researched the hell out of this."

"You should," Rachel took a deep breath. "You should…go…"

Rachel leaned her head back and took a few more deep breaths. Quinn held tight onto Rachel's hand and traced her thumb over the back of it. Right on time a nurse came over with a cold washcloth and Quinn draped it over the back of Rachel's neck while the girl heaved. She rubbed Rachel's back until Rachel was finished then she took the bucket and handed it off to the nurse and it was replaced with a new one. Quinn ran the cool washcloth over Rachel's face when she leaned back into the recliner.

"Gum? I've got spearmint, doublemint, and cinnamon."

"Spearmint."

Quinn pulled a stick out of her scrubs pocket and Rachel gladly accepted it.

"Why are you here, Quinn?"

"Because I care about you. You know as well as I do that we're more than acquaintances. We're friends. And I want to be here for my friend."

"Why would I want you to be the one that cares about me?"

"Because Finn is kind of dull-normal and doesn't know how to handle emotions. Puck, surprisingly, has a very weak stomach. And do you really want Santana to be here? Hm?"

Rachel let a small giggle and Quinn smiled.

"And Brit is afraid that she'll hurt you. The girl is like sunshine but I'm not sure if she'd know what to do."

Rachel kept smiling.

"And…" Quinn took a deep breath. "And I care about you a lot, Rachel. Part of it is a little bit of guilt for how I treated you but…I really, honestly care about you. I want to be here for you."

Rachel's smile dropped as a contemplative look washed over her face. "I don't want you here," she finally said. "I'm sorry but I just don't want anyone around."

"Okay," Quinn said. She stood and smoothed out her scrubs. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Rachel groaned and Quinn left.


	3. Chapter 3

**-Chapter 3-**

"Quinn, today probably isn't a good day," Rachel's Daddy said when he answered the door for Quinn. It had been two weeks and she had showed up either at the doctor's office or at Rachel's house every single day, as promised. The visits generally lasted for less than an hour because Rachel would start throwing a tantrum telling Quinn to get out and Quinn would end each day with telling Rachel she'd see her the next day.

"Did she tell you that or did a doctor tell you that?" Quinn asked, annoyed.

"She's just had a pretty rough day."

"Can I just try?"

The man sighed and let Quinn into the house. She immediately went to the bathroom and showered and changed her clothes. She didn't bother knocking on Rachel's door before going in. Rachel was in bed, as expected. She was on her side facing the door and when Quinn stepped in she growled.

"I told Daddy to make you go away."

"I told him to let me stay. Guess that means he likes me better," Quinn said with a playful smile.

"I'm really not in the mood for it today."

"I brought movies. Ms. Pillsbury –er, Mrs. Schuester - sanitized them for me. Which one do you want to watch? I've got _Wizard of Oz, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, _and _Pirates of the Caribbean_. I remember you arguing with Finn one day about pirates versus ninjas and since you took the side of the pirates I thought you probably liked that one."

"Please just leave, okay?"

"_Pirates_ it is, then."

"Quinn! I don't want to watch the fucking movie! I don't want you to be here! I want you to leave and never come back, okay?!"

Before Quinn could respond, Rachel grabbed onto her face and started groaning. Quinn ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel when blood started gushing out of Rachel's nose. She came back to see Rachel sitting up with a pool of blood in her hands. Quinn replaced Rachel's hands with the towel and tilted her head forward. She kept holding on to the towel and rubbing Rachel's back until the bleeding stopped. Rachel held onto the edge of the bed.

"Dizzy," she mumbled.

Quinn wrapped an arm around her and held on. Rachel gripped onto Quinn's shoulder. Rachel's nausea got the best of her and Quinn was about three seconds late in grabbing the trashcan. Quinn called for Rachel's Daddy to come in and help her get Rachel to the bathroom. Rachel dropped onto the vanity stool in front of the sink and her Daddy left to go clean.

"No, Quinn…no…I can do it. I don't want you," Rachel said when Quinn started running bath water. "Daddy can call someone…"

Quinn tested the bath water with her hand and walked over to Rachel and started tugging at the girl's t-shirt.

"I won't look if that's your problem. Even though we did have gym together for two years."

"You don't get it do you, Quinn?"

"No, I don't. That's why I'd like it if you talked to me every now and then instead of telling me to go away."

"It's humiliating," Rachel mumbled. "It's embarrassing and humiliating. I can barely give myself a bath. My dads…God, I can't even look at them anymore. They try to be cool about it, they really do. They insist that it's okay and they're just doing what I need. But…it's just…it's not supposed to be like this. They're not supposed to have to be the ones scrubbing my back at three in the morning after I've vomited or bled all over everything."

"Well right now it's either me or them or you sit here and wait for a nurse to come in. And I might as well be a nurse because I helped my mom do this for my grandma when she was really sick. I'm a bath expert." Quinn smiled a little knelt down in front of Rachel and touched her fingertips to Rachel's jaw. "It really is okay, Rachel."

Rachel's eyes met Quinn's and the blonde pulled up on the hem of Rachel's t-shirt. Rachel let her pull it off and Quinn helped her stand and discard the rest of her clothes and get to the bathtub. Rachel sat with her knees curled up to her chest while Quinn lathered and ran a washcloth over her back and down her sides. The blonde had to blink back tears when her fingers ran over Rachel's ribs.

While Rachel soaked in the bathtub Quinn went to her room and retrieved clean pajamas. Rachel's Daddy had pulled the sheets off of the bed and was on his knees using cleaner on the blood stained mattress and floor. He stood and hugged Quinn when the blonde lightly touched his shoulder.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I know she keeps telling you that she doesn't want you here but believe me, it does her a world of good."

"I just want to help her," Quinn said. "I care about her."

The man nodded and turned back to the mattress and sighed.

Quinn pulled Rachel up out of the bathtub and wrapped her in a towel. She held on tight as Rachel stepped over the side and sat down on the plastic chair next to the tub. Quinn helped Rachel dry off and put on the clean pajamas. She smiled when Rachel mumbled a "thank you".

Rachel's sheets had been changed and the floor scrubbed clean by the time Quinn helped her into bed.

"We'll have to do the movies on Thursday, I guess," Quinn said. "I only brought this change of clothes and I should probably get home before the blood really sets in."

Rachel nodded. Quinn stood and headed for the bedroom door.

"Quinn?"

The blonde turned back and looked at Rachel. "Yeah?"

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

Quinn smiled and nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, Rachel."


	4. Chapter 4

**-Chapter 4-**

Quinn showed up in the chemo room right at four-fifteen the next day. She said hello to the nurses then grabbed a chair and settled down next to Rachel. Quinn took Rachel's hand and gave it a squeeze. The girl in the recliner smiled.

"Good news," Rachel said.

"You got cast in 'Hair'?" Quinn teased.

Rachel stuck her tongue out at the girl and Quinn giggled.

"Phase two chemo starts next week."

"What about the marrow transplant?"

"Daddy's not a match and Dad's anemic. They put me on the national register but apparently, even though it's the second most popular blood type in the world, A positive is hard to come by. Even then, they have to match all of the other criteria. So we're just going ahead with phase two and if they find something, I'll get it. If not then we just keep going."

"They just want only the best for you, that's all," Quinn said. She glanced up at the clock then to Rachel who started turning pale. Rachel's Dad held the bucket and Quinn went to the cabinet where the washcloths were kept and retrieved one. She wet it down and returned to Rachel's side.

"Like clockwork," Rachel's Dad said. "I could set my watch by you, sweetie."

Quinn produced a stick of spearmint gum when Rachel finished and went to the sink and rinsed out the pink bucket while Rachel got situated again. Quinn returned with the bucket and took Rachel's hand when she sat down.

"Blueberry poptarts again?" Quinn asked.

"Looks cool coming back up."

"Get some rest."

Rachel nodded. She reclined a little and held onto Quinn's hand even tighter as she drifted in and out of sleep. Quinn stayed with her until the last drop was squeezed out of the bag of chemo hanging up. Quinn followed Rachel's dad to their house and helped get her to bed.

On days when Rachel was at home Quinn started bringing in video of the glee club's practices for Rachel to look at and critique. She would take notes as Rachel pointed out different problems with pitch or dance steps that she noticed. Rachel's Daddy pulled her aside and thanked her again, he said Rachel told him she felt like she was helping glee just as if she were there when she looked at the tapes.

..........

The weeks seemed to drag on but fly by at the same time. It was getting colder, Rachel had to be wrapped and bundled in several layers for the short trip from the Berry house to the hospital for her appointments. The cold only seemed to weaken her even more but with Quinn's encouragement she was attempting to regain her optimism. Quinn was overloading herself with vitamins and scrubbing extra hard before she dared go near Rachel because a string of colds was going around Lima. To everyone else it was an annoyance. To Rachel it could be fatal.

Despite Quinn's positivity and Rachel's attempt at optimism not every day was good. It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving break and Quinn was met at the door of the Berry house by Rachel's Dad, who looked exhausted.

"Mr. Berry…is everything okay? Why aren't you at work?"

"Today's been another rough one. Come on in. Hopefully you can talk to her."

Quinn stepped inside and immediately headed to the bathroom. She stopped to hug Rachel's Daddy who was sitting on the couch with Rachel's plethora of prescription pill bottles spread out on the coffee table, sorting them into Rachel's pill box. When Quinn finished showering and stepped into Rachel's room the girl was curled up on her side, back to the door. Quinn could hear her sniffling and sobbing.

"Rach?"

"G-go away!"

"Rachel, please. I just want to be here for you." Quinn crossed the floor and sat on Rachel's bed. She reached out and touched Rachel's arm.

"Get away from me. Get out!"

"Rach…"

Rachel rolled over and sat up. She glared at Quinn and the blonde leaned back a little bit. "Did you not hear me, slut? Get _out_!"

"Tell me what's wrong!"

"Are you blind? Look at me, Quinn! I'm fucking hideous!" Rachel dropped back down to the bed and lay on her back.

"You're beautiful," Quinn whispered.

Rachel looked up at Quinn, absolutely certain she'd misheard.

"Rachel you are so beautiful…"

"H-how can you s-say that? Look at me!" Rachel sat up again and pulled the collar of her shirt down, the tubes from her chest port dangling out. "My hair…" she touched the bare skin where thick brunette locks were once rooted. "How can you say that to me, Quinn? I'm a fucking walking skeleton…"

"You're the most beautiful person I know." Quinn reached forward and her fingertips touched Rachel's chest, right over her heart.

"Don't," Rachel pushed her hand away. "Don't do this to me."

"Why? Why, Rachel?"

"Because I'm ugly and you know it and I know it."

Quinn whimpered and pulled Rachel in. She wrapped her arms around the fragile girl and just held on. Rachel tried to resist and hit Quinn in the chest a few times but the girl just held on. Rachel gave in and she wrapped her arms around Quinn's back and cried.

"Why did this happen to me?" she sobbed. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"You don't deserve it, Rach. You don't."

"Why else would it happen, Quinn? I…I'm a bad person, that's all I can…"

"No!" Quinn grabbed Rachel's shoulders and pulled her away to look into her eyes. "Rachel…no…no, no, no!" She brought her hand up and brushed away Rachel's tears. "You are not a bad person. You're not! Rachel, sweetie, you are a wonderful person."

Rachel shook her head. "Why me, Quinn?"

"I don't know. But you're strong and you're going to get through this. Remember, remember what the doctor said? Your blood work is getting better and that's a good sign."

"They still haven't found a marrow donor…they…they said that my chances go down without one. Quinn…what if…"

"Don't, Rachel. Don't even think about that. You're not going to give up, okay? You're only a few weeks into the second phase of chemo, there's plenty of time."

Quinn held on and rocked the girl until she calmed down. She stayed the night, Rachel stayed wrapped in her arms as they slept.


	5. Chapter 5

**-Chapter 5-**

The weeks passed. Glee club won sectionals. Rachel made Quinn play the video over and over.

It was close to Christmas break for Quinn, now. There was still no donor. Rachel grew weaker even though her blood work was showing signs of remission. Quinn got a voicemail during school that caused her to swear at a teacher for attempting to stop her from leaving.

"_Quinn, we're at the hospital with Rachel. They think it's just a cold for now but it could escalate. She's up on the oncology floor, room five thirteen. I've left word at the desk that you should be let up, they'll probably make you change into scrubs and do the whole gown and mask thing. I…I know you're in school but…she's asking for you. Of course we'd never condone you skipping school but…she wants you. It's up to you. We'll see you later, sweetie."_

Quinn broke several traffic laws on her way to the hospital. She was lucky to find a parking space close to the door and she ran into the building and up to the fifth floor. She talked to the nurse at the front desk and was taken to a room where she changed into scrubs and bagged her clothes. When she got to Rachel's room she poked her head in cautiously. Rachel's Daddy smiled at her and motioned for her to come in. Quinn swiftly moved to the side of Rachel's bed and took the girl's hand. She pressed a kiss to it through the surgical mask and Rachel's eyes fluttered open.

"School," Rachel whispered.

"They'll get over it."

Rachel's eyelids closed again and Quinn took a deep breath. When she was sure Rachel was asleep she took another deep breath.

"I turn eighteen tomorrow," Quinn said, still looking at Rachel.

"We know," Rachel's Dad said. "She's been talking about it for a week. She wanted to throw you a party since it's a Saturday."

"I'll be busy."

The room was quiet.

"I got tested," Quinn continued. "I talked to Rachel's doctor a couple weeks ago and told her I wanted her to test me. I…she basically called it a miracle when she called me yesterday. I'm a match…I'm a match for Rachel. She said the only thing that could be more perfect would be an identical twin or a sibling."

"Quinn…" Rachel's Dad gasped. "Honey, you don't have to…"

"I go in tomorrow at eleven."

"What do your parents think?"

"They don't really care what I do anymore. I've already disgraced the family even though I gave the baby up for adoption so they really just don't care. As of midnight I'll be eighteen anyways, they can't stop me."

Rachel's Dad was there when Quinn was filling out paperwork in the waiting room the next morning. He went back with her while they prepped her for the marrow to be taken and he was there when she came out and started coming out from under the anesthesia.

At two o'clock a nurse wheeled Quinn into Rachel's room. The singer looked over at the blonde and furrowed her eyebrows when Quinn was parked at her bedside.

"What happened, Quinn?"

"I need you to do something for me. A birthday present, if you will."

"Okay…"

"I need you to get better because I didn't have a giant needle jabbed into my hip on my eighteenth birthday for you to reject the marrow."

Rachel only blinked a few times, a quizzical look plagued her face.

"Quinn donated her bone marrow for you, sweetie," her Daddy said. "When you get better you'll be getting the transplant."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears and Quinn shakily stood from her wheelchair and pressed a kiss through the surgical mask to Rachel's forehead.

"Quinn…I…"

"It's okay," Quinn said. She cupped Rachel's face in her hands looked into Rachel's eyes. "There's something else."

"Hm?"

"I love you, Rachel."

The tears spilled over. Rachel reached up and pulled down Quinn's mask and tugged the blonde's head forward. Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel's and Rachel sighed.

"I love you, too."

Quinn smiled and dropped back to her wheelchair. She winced a little at the pain in her hip but she just knew it would be worth it.

When Rachel's doctor told them the preliminary blood work after the transplant showed that it was working Quinn cried. She held onto her now-girlfriend and cried. Rachel was in the hospital through Hanukkah and Christmas to be constantly monitored for graft-versus-host, Quinn bought her a portable DVD player and Rachel told her to take it back because the bone marrow was enough of a gift. Quinn refused.

Rachel came home the first day of February and Quinn was there to greet her along with their guidance counselor who Quinn had been working with to sanitize every surface of the Berry house. They settled Rachel into bed and Quinn hopped up next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Rachel looked up and smiled. Quinn returned the smile and kissed her girlfriend. Rachel smiled even wider.

"It's working," Rachel said confidently. "I can feel it."

Quinn held her and nodded. "Of course it is. My bone marrow isn't going to half-ass anything!"


	6. Chapter 6

**-Chapter 6-**

Rachel's chemotherapy was slowed. She only went twice a week and the drugs were weakened. Quinn noticed a change almost right away. Rachel's color started coming back and the sporadic nosebleeds were getting fewer and farther in between. Her blood work was getting better every time they tested it. Regionals was a week away and Quinn and Rachel's dads talked to the doctors and got the okay to make the two hour trip to Columbus so Rachel could watch. She sat proudly in the front row of the auditorium and started to cry when Quinn introduced the choir.

"Ladies and gentleman," Quinn said, "this afternoon's New Directions performance is dedicated to our lead, our gold star, Rachel Berry." Quinn looked down at her and blew a kiss.

Rachel watched with a smile, hidden by her surgical mask, as the choir sang and danced and spun. For their ballad they had chosen "Seasons of Love" from _RENT. _Rachel mentally started scolding Mr. Schuester for choosing the song because it wasn't very vocally challenging but she was cut off when the choir wandered off the stage and knelt next to her. Quinn pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered "I love you" when they finished and Rachel cried again.

The loss to Vocal Adrenaline was hard. Rachel went back to scolding Mr. Schuester for not choosing something more difficult for the ballad but he simply shrugged and told her it wasn't his decision and the set list had been selected by majority vote, as was the decision not to use more complicated choreography for the ballad. And Rachel cried again. The silver lining, as Quinn brought up, was that she wouldn't have to leave for a week when nationals came.

Rachel was exhausted when she and her dads reached Lima. She was asleep by the time Quinn had driven to her house and showered. The blonde still slipped into bed next to her girlfriend and held her. Rachel snuggled into Quinn and sighed contentedly.

When it was warm enough for the glee club to start holding car washes it was collectively agreed that the money would be donated to the American Cancer Society since they didn't need the money for a trip to nationals. Rachel came to a couple of the car washes and sat by with Quinn, hand in hand, as they watched their friends have water fights and clean the vehicles.

"Can you help me with something?" Rachel asked one of those afternoons.

"Anything."

"I know I'm not going to graduate but I still want to get my GED. The test is in June and I've looked over the sample tests online and I'm going to need your help if I want to pass it."

"Of course," Quinn said with a smile.

"Did you get any of your acceptance letters?" Rachel asked that question almost every day now and Quinn always said no or avoided the subject completely. Rachel had her cornered today though.

Quinn was silent for a few seconds. "No. Do you want something to eat?" Quinn reached to start rummaging around in her backpack. Rachel grabbed her arm.

"Why won't you tell me the truth?"

"I…I…You have to promise you won't get mad."

Rachel nodded.

"I didn't apply."

"You…you told me you did. You said you applied to NYU and Northwestern and OSU!"

"I know, Rachel. I know I did! But I didn't…I had the applications ready to send off and then…then…I can't leave you, Rachel. You've still got so much to go through and I'm not leaving you by yourself. I'll get a job and maybe take some classes at the Lima OSU campus but I am not leaving here."

"Quinn you can't…"

"Like hell I can't. This is my decision, Rachel. I'm staying in Lima until you're cured. Then you and I are going to go to New York together."

"But…"

"No buts, Rach. Here's how I see it. You get the lead in some really big Broadway production and then maybe you'll have pull with the choreographers and you can get me put on their team since I don't really have the voice for Broadway."

Rachel smiled and intertwined her fingers with Quinn's. "You're good enough to get in on your own, you know? You could make it without me having to talk someone into it."

"Either way, I'm not going without you."

"I'm not going to change your mind on this, am I?"

"Nope."

"Okay then. As soon as I'm cured we'll do it. Maybe by then they'll revive _Wicked_. I'd make an excellent Elphaba."

"I could think of no one better."

..........

Quinn blamed herself when she got the call that Rachel was in the hospital again. She was at home studying for her finals, at Rachel's insistence, when she got the call.

"I shouldn't have taken her out that much," she sobbed into Finn's chest when he showed up at her house to take her to the hospital since Quinn couldn't compose herself enough to drive.

"No, Q. You made her happy. She was really happy when you brought her to the car washes," Finn said. He helped her into his truck and dropped her at the front door of the hospital. Quinn quickly made her way up to the fifth floor and put on the clothes the nurse gave to her.

Rachel was watching the door from her bed when Quinn stepped into the room. She smiled brightly at the blonde.

"Hey," Rachel chirped. "Why the long face?"

"I…This is my fault." Quinn sat down on the edge of the bed and took Rachel's hand. "I shouldn't have taken you out."

"Oh baby, no it's not." Rachel reached up and settled her hand on Quinn's neck. "I had so much fun. This is just a stupid precaution because I could get the nosebleed to stop and I coughed up a little blood. It's completely ridiculous. I'm going to be fine."

The days slipped by. Quinn was at the hospital every chance she got. Rachel was growing tired and weak again and from everything Quinn had read it meant only one thing. Their worst nightmare was confirmed on day five.

"Rachel," Dr. Ali started. She took a seat next to Rachel's bed. Quinn and Rachel's dads were on the other side, Quinn on the bed holding Rachel's hand. "Rachel, your blood work isn't good. The chemotherapy isn't working like it should."

"So you change the drugs," Quinn said. "Start her on a new regimen."

"We are going to try that," the doctor said. "But the problem is that the cancer has attacked the healthy bone marrow cells we put in which means it's getting stronger."

"Relapse," Rachel muttered.

The doctor nodded. "We will try a new course of chemotherapy but you'll have to go back to intensive therapy like before the transplant."

"What about another transplant? I'll go in right now and have them take more."

"If the new drugs work then we might attempt it again. Only time will tell, Quinn."


	7. Chapter 7

-**Chapter 7-**

What time told them was nothing but bad news. Quinn graduated. Rachel was still in the hospital. Quinn's parents strongly suggested she move out of the house so she moved in to Rachel's room. She got a job at the hospital on the cleaning staff that allowed her to see Rachel every day. Three weeks after the word "relapse" was uttered from Rachel's lips Quinn heard another word come from the doctor that she hated equally as much.

"Hospice?" Quinn hissed. "Bullshit! She's just weak from the chemo. She's going to be fine. It's only been three weeks!"

"Quinn," the doctor said. "Her body is only responding negatively to the drugs. They're not doing her any good anymore. Last time she responded positively almost right away but this time they're only hurting her. I'm sorry but we've done all we can do. I think it's best now that she is made comfortable at home."

"Do another transplant! I'll do it today!"

"Another transplant might buy us a little time, a few weeks at the most, but that's all. With the chemotherapy not working anymore the transplant won't do much."

"So use different drugs! Why are you giving up on her like this?"

Rachel's Dad put a hand on Quinn's shoulder and gripped tight.

The doctor sighed. "Quinn, sometimes the disease just gets too strong for us to do anything. Rachel's at the stage now where what she needs is love and comfort from her friends and family. She needs you to be strong right now, okay?"

"How…"Rachel's Daddy choked. "How do we uh…who do we call for what you said?"

"I'll get all of the information you need, Mr. Berry."

Rachel went home a week later. Quinn quit her job to stay with Rachel. Without the chemotherapy she was feeling better and each day that she felt better than the previous one only gave Quinn hope. She argued with the hospice nurses saying Rachel was better and she was right.

The summer moved along and Quinn kept her smile up even when Rachel's health started declining.

"It's just a bad day," Quinn told the nurse. "She'll be better tomorrow."

Rachel slipped more. Quinn's denial transitioned to anger. Rachel started waking up in the night groaning from the pain and Quinn could only hold her and tell her it would all be okay.

Rachel started morphine on the first of August.

Quinn hadn't been to church since her sophomore year but the day after Rachel started the painkillers she made her way to her old church and sat for an hour just staring up at the altar.

"Can I help you, miss?" the preacher said when he sat down. He wasn't the same one that had been there the last time Quinn had attended a service.

"Ask Him to make my Rachel better," Quinn mumbled. "He won't listen to me."

"God does listen."

"Not to me." Quinn sighed. "Is it true what the Bible says about loving someone of the same sex? I listened to the sermons for years and I know that's always what was said but I don't get it. I don't get how feeling love for someone can be wrong."

"It's a complicated issue," the preacher said. "But these times we live in, these times filled with hate and war…I don't think God will punish anyone for loving because that's what the world needs."

"My girlfriend has cancer. She never did anything wrong to anyone and all I can think is that God is punishing me because I…I had feelings for her for a really long time. I don't know how she felt about me but I know now that she loves me."

"Her illness brought you together?"

Quinn nodded. "Kind of. I mean…I guess if she hadn't…I don't know that I would've ever had the courage to admit how I felt."

"Perhaps that is the reason for it, then."

"But why would He bring us together and then rip us apart like this?"

"That's part of His plan, miss. Only He knows what the purpose of life is."

Quinn nodded again and stood. "Thank you," she said.

When she returned to the Berry house Quinn lay down next to Rachel in her bed and whispered to her what the preacher had said. Rachel only nodded and pressed her lips to Quinn's chest.

"I could've told you that," she whispered. "I figured it out the first time you told me you loved me."

"We could've had so much more time if I hadn't been a coward, though."

"Maybe not. Don't forget that I was with Finn until the end of junior year. I didn't really get over him until the summer."

"It doesn't matter though, right?" Quinn sniffled. "You're going to get better and we're going to New York."

Rachel smiled and nodded.

..........

Rachel was pale and trembling. Quinn knew it was from the pain.

"Do something!" Quinn yelled at the nurse. "She's in pain!"

"Honey, we've done what we can. She's maxed out on morphine. You need to put on a happy face and go back in there, okay? You know what the doctors said. It's a miracle she's lasted this long, you need to spend every moment you can with her right now."

"Don't say that to me! She…she's going to be fine!"

The nurse only sighed and patted Quinn's shoulder. She turned the girl back to the bedroom door and gave her a gentle push in. Quinn took the hint and went back to Rachel's bedside. She sat on the edge of the bed with the small body and she stroked Rachel's forehead and pressed kisses to her cheek and temple.

"You're going to be fine, Rachel. You just…you just have to get through this, is all. It's just a speedbump, okay baby?"

Rachel swallowed. Her eyes remained closed but she nodded, indicating she knew.

"I love you," she managed to barely whisper. "Be strong."

"I will be. I'll be strong for you, okay? But you have to be strong, too." Quinn's eyes filled with tears and she choked back a sob. "Don't give up on me, Rachel Berry. Do you hear me? Don't you even think for one second about giving up. We have plans, remember? You have to be with me for them. I can't afford a New York City apartment all by myself."

Rachel's eyes fluttered open and she looked up at her girlfriend and smiled. "I'm going to miss you," she said weakly.

"Rachel, don't."

Rachel shook her head. "It's okay. I'll be okay and so will you."

Quinn looked up at Rachel's dads on the other side of the bed. Both of them had tears cascading down their cheeks. Rachel turned her head to look at them and she smiled again.

"I love you, too."

"And we love you, baby girl," her Daddy said.

Her Dad was silent for a minute, choking back sobs."I love you so much, Rachel," he finally managed.

Rachel nodded and she gripped onto Quinn's hand and Quinn leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Rachel's lips. "I love you, Rachel."

And then she was gone. She took a deep breath and then the bright, shining gold star that was Rachel Berry was gone. And so was a piece of Quinn.

..........

It was September eighth. It had been exactly one year. Quinn stepped onto the platform of the train station and looked around. She ascended the staircase with her backpack and walked through the train station. When she was finally outside she took a deep breath. The air was heavy and thick with smog and she hailed a cab. When she got to her destination she simply stood and looked up. She was in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by billboards and marquees.

"I'm here, baby," she whispered. "I'm here, and I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it just for you."

Quinn pulled a bag out of her backpack, a handful of small gold stars. She grabbed the handful and tossed it up in the air. The wind picked up at that moment and Quinn was surrounded by gold stars and she knew, she knew that Rachel was with her.


	8. Alternate Chapter 7

**-Alternate Ending-**

Rachel started the new course of chemotherapy immediately. Even though it tore her down she was still optimistic. Quinn's graduation was bittersweet because Rachel wasn't there but Quinn could now focus on Rachel. She made sure that someone got a video of the graduation and she showed it to Rachel later that day. Quinn's parents strongly suggested that she move out. Quinn knew it was coming and Rachel's dads insisted she move in with them because of everything she'd done for Rachel. Quinn didn't argue at all. She got a job at the hospital on the cleaning staff. Thanks to countless hours spent with the second Mrs. Schuester cleaning and sanitizing the Berry house from the last time Rachel was hospitalized, Quinn knew the best and quickest way to clean everything while still being efficient which meant she got more breaks and could spend more time with Rachel.

It took a few weeks but when Dr. Ali came into her hospital room smiling and holding Rachel's chart she knew something had to be good. Quinn sat up and listened attentively.

"Latest blood work shows a slight improvement," the doctor said. "We'll keep going and hopefully in the next two weeks we'll be able to say you're in remission again and do another marrow transplant."

Quinn smiled and Rachel's dads both thanked the doctor. Quinn leaned over and kissed her girlfriend.

"New York here we come," Rachel murmured. Quinn kissed her again.

Quinn hadn't been to church since her sophomore year but when the doctor said there was improvement she thought perhaps it was time to pay a visit. While Rachel slept off the latest dose of chemotherapy Quinn drove across town to the church she had attended for sixteen years of her life. She sat down in the pew in the front row and looked up at the altar.

"Can I help you, miss?" the preacher asked, sitting next to her.

He wasn't the same man Quinn had listened to for years and for that she was grateful because that meant he didn't know who she was and therefore didn't know who her parents were.

"I came here to thank Him," Quinn said.

"That's a good reason to come. What has our good Lord done for you?"

"The love of my life has cancer," Quinn said. "But we were told that it's in remission. I…I'm really trying hard not to be too optimistic about it because this is the second time it's gone into remission. There was a relapse earlier but I'm hoping that maybe He'll let her get better this time." Quinn turned slightly red at dropping the fact that it was a girl she was dating. It felt slightly awkward but it was dashed when the preacher spoke again.

"She's very lucky to have someone that loves her and that loves God as well."

"You're not going to damn me to Hell for being in love with a girl?"

The preacher chuckled. "Of course not. The way I see it, Jesus preached love. Love thy neighbor, love thy self. In this world filled with hate and war I think He would be happy to see a little more love in the world."

"I just hope it's enough to make her better."

"The Lord has a plan, there's not much you can do about it but believe that everything is for the best."

"Why her, though? Why does she have to go through all of this? I've searched for a silver lining in all of this but I can't find it."

"How has your relationship faired with her through it? From personal experience I can say that illness has a way of bringing people together."

"We…we weren't together when she got sick. I had feelings for her before that though, for a really long time. I guess I just never had the courage to tell her. Then when I thought I might lose her…" Quinn stopped and looked up at the preacher. He was smiling.

"If she hadn't gotten sick then you wouldn't have had the courage to tell her of your feelings."

"Yeah."

"I believe you've found your silver lining."

Quinn smiled and stood. "Thank you," she said. "Thank you so much."

"I will pray for you," the preacher said. "The both of you."

Quinn ran out of the church and went back to the hospital. Rachel was awake and sitting up in bed when Quinn skipped into the room.

"Someone's in a happy mood," Rachel said.

"I went to church." Quinn took her place on the bed next to Rachel and held her hand. She recalled the conversation with the preacher and Rachel only smiled.

"You know, I could've told you that," Rachel said. "I knew the day you told me you loved me. Why do you think I never asked you again why this had to happen to me, hm?"

Quinn smiled and kissed her girlfriend. "I do love you."

"And I love you."

..........

Quinn kissed Rachel's forehead and smiled.

"See you in a few hours," she said.

"Have fun," Rachel giggled.

"You know, I just had a thought."

"Did it hurt?"

Quinn stuck her tongue out and Rachel giggled again. "My thought was, and you have just proven it, you are literally a pain in my ass."

"But you love me!"

"Of course I do. I'll see you later."

Quinn was back in Rachel's room a few hours later, sore hip, still slightly drowsy, and with a smile.

"Second time's a charm," she said. She hoisted herself up on the bed and the pair lay together, fingers laced.

"It had better be. I won't be able to take the one in June but the next GED test after that is in August and if I miss it I'm going to be pissed. And I'll blame you for your marrow only half-assing the job again."

"Pffft, it's not my fault that you're so stubborn."

"I'm pretty sure that since my cells can kick your cells' asses that I should win every argument we ever have. It's only logical."

"You can win every argument as long as it ends like this…" Quinn turned her head and cupped Rachel's jaw with her free hand and pulled her in for a kiss. She tasted spearmint when she got a taste of Rachel's mouth with her tongue.

A throat clearing from the door broke them out of the kiss and they both turned their attention to the doctor who was smiling.

"I thought I'd find you here, Quinn."

"Where else would I be?"

"In recovery where you're supposed to be."

"Quinn!" Rachel squealed.

"I only came up to visit! You should be yelling at the orderly that brought me." Quinn grinned. "It's not like I left the hospital."

"Yes well you need to get back downstairs before your doctor goes crazy. You need to stay in observation for a while. Your blood pressure dropped during the procedure and they want to keep an eye on you."

"I feel fine."

"Just a few more hours, okay? I'm sure it's nothing but believe it or not the rules apply to you, too."

Quinn sighed and kissed Rachel again. "Keep your phone nearby, I'll call you," she said with a smile. Rachel nodded and playfully smacked her arm.

"You're insane, Quinn."

"You love me for it."

Quinn hopped out of the bed and back into her wheelchair. Dr. Ali called an orderly and Quinn was taken back down to recovery. She heard Rachel's giggles all the way down the hall.

Rachel came home again on the Fourth of July. The next weekend they had a barbeque with all of the glee kids and the Schuesters who announced that they were expecting a child. Everyone was excited to hear the news that Rachel was once again considered in remission and her results were looking better this time than they had the last. Everyone talked about their plans for college and Quinn made sure to let everyone know that as soon as Rachel was able that the two of them were going to New York City. They promised tickets to everyone to their Broadway debut.

On the first of August, Rachel and Quinn counted down the seconds on the machine for Rachel's last dose of intensive chemotherapy. Quinn kissed her and Rachel smiled.

"It's not the end," Rachel murmured later that night. "I still have two years of maintenance chemo." She was curled into Quinn's front and the blonde had her arms wrapped around her girlfriend.

"I know."

"I could relapse again."

"I know."

"I fully understand if you can't handle…"

Quinn slipped her fingers under Rachel's chin and tilted the girl's head up. "I love you and I will handle whatever I have to."

"Okay. But maintenance chemo isn't going to be easy, either."

"It'll be a walk in the park compared to what we've already been through."

"I hope so."

..........

To no one's shock, Rachel took and passed her GED test. The chemotherapy was still making her tired but she still felt well enough to enroll with Quinn to the Lima campus at OSU in January. They took all of the same classes so Quinn could make sure to get notes to Rachel on days when she couldn't make it to class. Rachel's blood counts remained the same and they celebrated matching 4.0 grade point averages at the end of the semester.

On September eighth Rachel was sleeping off her latest dose. Her fathers were in the living room watching the news and Quinn was nervously pacing the floor at the foot of her and Rachel's bed while Rachel slept. When she finally collected her thoughts she slipped out of the room and to the living room.

"How's Sleeping Beauty?" Rachel's Dad asked.

"Still sleeping." Quinn sat in one of the armchairs and never felt more uncomfortable in her life. "Can I talk to you guys about something?"

Rachel's dads looked away from the TV. Quinn wasn't sure which one it was but someone turned off the box and they turned to face her.

"What is it, sweetie?" Rachel's Daddy asked.

"I…I love Rachel."

"Yes, we're aware of that."

"Like…I love her a lot."

"We understand."

"I…I want to marry her."

The room was silent. Quinn dug in her pocket and produced a small box and handed it to Rachel's Dad. When he opened it he gasped, as did his husband.

"It's both of our birthstones with a diamond on each side," Quinn said. "But I won't give it to her without your permission."

"Yes!" they both half-yelled. They immediately quieted and looked towards the door that led to Rachel's bedroom. When it was still quiet they all stood and both men hugged Quinn tight.

Quinn took the ring out of the box and held tight in her fist. She crawled into bed with Rachel and held her until the smaller girl's eyes fluttered open.

"Don't you have better things to do rather than lay here and watch me sleep, stalker?" Rachel grinned.

"I can't help it. It's so rare that you're quiet, I like to soak up the silence while I can."

Rachel stuck her tongue out and Quinn nipped at it.

"I need your opinion on something," Quinn said.

"Okay…"

"You see, there's this girl that I'm head over heels in love with. The problem is, she's really picky about what she wears."

"Go on."

"Do you think she'd like this?" Quinn opened her hand to reveal the silver ring with four stones set into the band. Rachel sat bolt upright and Quinn followed.

"I…I think she'd…love it."

"Good to know." Quinn closed her hand around the ring and Rachel grabbed her wrist. Quinn smiled. "Do you really love it?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes."

"You can only wear it if you agree to one condition."

"Anything."

"Will you marry me?"

..........

Quinn stepped onto the platform of the train station and looked around. She ascended the staircase with her backpack and walked through the train station. When she was finally outside she took a deep breath. The air was heavy and thick with smog and she hailed a cab. When she got to her destination she simply stood and looked up. She was in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by billboards and marquees.

She spotted the long curly brunette locks she was searching for and ran up to the woman.

"I'm here, baby," Quinn whispered into the woman's ear. "Happy anniversary."

Rachel turned around and smiled. She pulled Quinn into a kiss and then excitedly pointed upwards to the large billboard. The text they read was huge: "Broadway revival of Wicked! Starring Rachel Berry as Elphaba!"

"We're here," Rachel said. "We're here and we made it."

Quinn pulled a bag out of her backpack. A handful of gold stars. She and Rachel each took some and tossed them in the air. The wind picked up and the stars swirled around them.

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist from behind as they watched the gold stars fly down the street with the wind. Rachel tilted her head back and smiled.

"Here's to eight years cured," Rachel whispered.

"And six years married."

"And your debut as a Broadway choreographer."

"I'm pretty sure I only got the job because I'm sleeping with the star."

Quinn leaned down and kissed her wife. Rachel smiled.


End file.
